When my husband, John, and I decided to adopt a
fourth child through Family Finders, we knew we wanted a boy
from Thailand, and we had some ideas about his age and
special needs. We reviewed medical records and videos, and
easily narrowed the choice down to three boys. At that point
I was at a complete loss as to which might be our son. But
John's eyes would sparkle every time we watched Piyachone’s
video, and when he talked about Piyachone he already sounded
like a father. I don't know if he realized it, but his
choice was clear to me.
We were told Piyachone had mild cerebral palsy. We had
already researched CP during two of our previous adoptions
(although neither child turned out to have the disorder), and
our pediatrician advised us about Piyachone's needs.
I traveled to Thailand with my best friend, while John stayed
home with our other children. When Piyachone's caregivers walked
him into the meeting room, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Here,
finally, was my son. He was obviously very scared—quiet and shy,
with eyes downcast.
I offered him toys and candy and slowly gained his trust.
Eventually I was close enough to gently touch him. I was
impressed by his bravery as he dutifully walked me to the room
he slept in, showed me his bed, and stood stoically for
pictures. He was about to leave his home, his friends, all that
he had known for the past three years.
To be honest, I was taken aback by the extent of his cerebral
palsy. It was much greater than we had anticipated. I was unsure
about his physical and mental abilities, and doubted he could
grow to be independent. For a moment, I wondered whether our
family would accept him. I should have known better, though.
When I called home, John reassured me that we would figure
things out.
As time passed in Thailand, I began to see that Piyachone’s
needs weren’t insurmountable. I discovered that he had many
gifts and could teach us wonderful things. His joyous spirit and
kind heart would carry him and us all through any hard times.
Still, the adjustment wasn’t easy for him. He cried
frequently and had tantrums. We cut him slack when
necessary—like the time in an airport restaurant on the way home
when he decided to eat on the floor under the table, concealed
by the tablecloth. We honored his grief for all he had lost,
trying to reassure him that our family would always stay
together. We played a lot, to build good new memories. We tried
to give him clear ideas about boundaries and expectations.
Piyachone made greats strides in therapy. He works hard to
teach his body new ways to move and is a favorite of all his
therapists. Once he fell down many times a day, but now he’s
learning to ice skate! Once he could barely speak (he
essentially didn't talk for almost two months), but now he gets
most basic words across. We finally have access to all his great
ideas and feelings! This happy, joyful, easygoing child fits
into our family as though he was always meant to be here. He and
his little brother are inseparable—scheming and laughing,
planning their future careers as firefighters or some other type
of rescue workers. The rest of us adore Piyachone, too, and he
has pretty typical relationships with his two older sisters.
We’ve learned so much from Piyachone. He helped us look
beyond a person's physical abilities and see the precious spirit
inside. He taught us to not just talk about acceptance,
but to do it, to feel it in our hearts. Like all children,
Piyachone has brought us unexpected challenges, surprises, and
endless gifts.